Week 1 - Scotland

We left Denver on Sept. 11, and yes the airfare was much cheaper on that date than any other date in the entire month. Not surprisingly, they have trouble selling tickets for that date. We decided that we were much more motivated by the financial bottom line than the eerie feelings and many memories that go along with that historic date. Ultimately, it worked to our advantage that many flights weren't sold out for that date because when we arrived at the airport we learned that our first of 3 flights had been canceled, causing a domino-like collapse of our entire travel schedule. Within an hour or so, we were booked on a flight to Munich, hustled our way down the terminal, said our rushed and teary goodbyes, and made it to the gate just as they were calling standby passengers for the other remaining seats. It was quite an exit, and the agent checking my passport and airline ticket actually stopped when he saw my tears to ask if I felt I would be okay to travel. That motivated me to pull it together!

Our flight from Manchester up to Edinburgh whet my palette as we soared over small villages scattered throughout the gorgeously green countryside. The lush vegetation here is such a change from the deserts of Peru that I oohed and aahed the entire flight as Tony tried to squeeze in a little nap.

To make a long story short, the housing that we had originally secured through the university fell through about 2 weeks before we were supposed to arrive. They found another flat for us in time, but when we arrived we discovered that it was not at all what had been described to us. We had about 450 square feet in total (dirty and damp square feet at that!) and no washing machine, living room or furnishings. We did some looking and realized we could get a much nicer, furnished flat for less than we were being charged by the university. Having arrived on a Friday, no leasing agencies were open over the weekend so we ended up spending the next 4 days wandering from place to place for a cheap night's stay until we moved into our new flat on Wednesday. We now have a place to call home and are starting to feel settled in. Our old building was much more traditional and charming on the outside, but the new one is MUCH more cozy and comforting on the inside. It's a good trade off, all things considered!

The view from our old flat's kitchen window. A beautiful, historic area!

Standing under our new flat's balcony during the evening rainstorm.

We've had so much fun exploring the city and learning our way around. I'm amazed at how quickly a large and overwhelming city can start to become familiar. We've been taking many buses, and usually plant ourselves on the upper level in the first row to get a good look around. The city is beautiful and predominantly filled with old stone buildings, each of which is filled with solely white squared window frames. This makes for a stunning view from the outskirts of the city. A friend here gave a great description of the city when he said, "Doesn't it all feel so Peter-Pan-ish?" And indeed it does. It's an enchanting place to be. Our first night here, we ate at a restaurant called "Ye Olde Peacock Inn", which was constructed in 1767. I love the feeling of being in a place with so much history -you can just feel it seeping through as you walk the streets.

We've laughed at the number of British sayings and sights that truly are everywhere! We've lost count of the number of times we've heard "Cheers!" and "Cheerio!". We've both used a red telephone booth to make a few calls and can affirm that it is much more enjoyable to use a payphone in one of these red booths than any of the ones we've used in the US!

Here's a shot of The Royal Mile, which runs from the Edinburgh Castle down to the Palace of Holyrood. Scottish Royalty used to hold their processions down this road when they moved from one location to the other. We live on the lower end of this road, just about a block before it hits the palace.
There are statues of famous philosophers, politicians, writers, etc. scattered along The Royal Mile - Adam Smith, Sir Walter Scott, David Hume, to name a few. Here's Tony standing next to Hume holding and his tablet. Tony saw a great quote about him recently - "David Hume - may the soul he denied rest in peace."
Here Tony is overlooking the courtyard at New College. John Knox is there in the middle, the key figure in the Scottish Reformation.

Here we are at New College just before Tony's orientation.

While Tony attended his orientation and registration events throughout the week, I explored the city with my dear friend Krista. She was able to tag along on her husband's business trip and spend a few days with us this week. It was so great to see she and Mike after our stressful first days here. Krista and I found a great little French Bistro for a hot bowl of soup on a cold and rainy day. Here I am in my raincoat outside Cafe Marlayne.

Krista and I waiting at the bus stop - a common activity!

So, that's our first update from Edinburgh. Tony's classes start Monday, as does my intensive job search. More pictures and updates to come. Cheers!

Here and There and Everywhere...

The title of this post is the best description I could come up with for my frame of mind over the past month. It's rather descriptive of our physical locations as well as we traveled out of Peru, stopped in Florida, arrived in Denver, cruised out to Nebraska and are now preparing to leave for Scotland on Thursday. It's been hard to create time to sit and update the blog, not solely for lack of convenient time but also because of the many emotions wrapped up in the last month. While we've been back in Denver, my thoughts have been split between the kids and church in Peru, treasuring the moments we have here with family and friends, and mentally preparing for our move to Edinburgh. This morning I watched the promotional video for New Hope with Tony and my dear friend Dayna and was in tears within the first 5 seconds. I cried and cried as I looked at those little faces again and it gave me the extra push I needed to get over the fact that I don't know where to begin with the next post and just begin to write.

Our last few weeks in Peru were filled with many special memories. The kids were on vacation from school for two of our last three weeks, which afforded us many precious moments with them we would not have had otherwise. We hosted a quinciniera (15th birthday party) for three of our young ladies in the home, which was a great cultural experience for me. We celebrated two weddings with our friends before we left. Tony's mom and I baked, baked and baked with the kids and several ladies from the church. I was enchanted with the number of children I saw flying kites in the weeks before we left, which I learned is the official season of kite flying in Peru. (They also have a "season" of playing with marbles, which I didn't know about either.) I requested and subsequently received an abundance of hugs from all of the kids at the home. Those tight squeezes feel almost real when I think about them now, so far away from the arms that wrapped around me almost hourly for the last month.

Leaving Peru was quite possibly the most heart wrenching thing I've ever experienced in my life. Last year as I bawled my way through the Denver airport on my way to Peru, I had the underlying assurance that my family would be okay without us and that they were supporting us in what we were going to do. This time, my heart ached most because I knew the kids didn't totally understand why we were leaving. How can they understand what this opportunity represents for us when the implications of our departure are so huge for them? I found my deepest consolation in affirming in my prayers that God knows the deepest emotional needs of each one of the kids and asking him to meet those needs in the way that only he can. I pray that somehow the kids will come to know him more as he meets those needs in our absence. It's easy to feel irreplaceable and overly important when involved in supporting and caring so intimately for kids who don't have much in this world. It was good to be reminded of my ultimate inability to provide what these kids need, and to be challenged to trust God enough to meet their needs.

I was humbled beyond words to hear the kind gratitude and reflections from so many people during our last weeks in Peru. We were honored by a special church service that was hosted for us on our last Sunday, a special lunch with all of the workers at New Hope, and many moments of tears, hugs and expressions of thanks that were sprinkled throughout the week. I think it is inevitable to be overcome with a certain number doubts and regrets when a season of life comes to a close, and I believe it is God's grace to provide so many kind comments and affirmations to be spoken during those moments.

In the coming weeks, I'm going to be recounting some of the moments I've treasured and tucked away in my heart. Somehow writing and sharing them with others seems to acknowledge the significance they're due. My heart is overflowing with love for the people of Peru right now and I want to share that with those who may be reading along. Thank you for sharing in this journey with us -I'm back in the blog world and will be writing more regularly again!! Your prayers are coveted for our transition, and for the kids and members of our community in Peru who are feeling the impact of our transition as well.

Breaking the news

Ever since Tony was accepted in the University of Edinburgh to begin the pursuit of his PhD in philosophy, we've been caught in a very complex web of emotions. We have spent the past several years praying about our future direction, and this spring we prayed fervently for wisdom in what to do. Tony's acceptance into Edinburgh was a surprise because his application was late, reference letters were lost in the mail, and the program seemed a bit out of our reach to begin with. When we received the news about his acceptance, it was a strong confirmation that God was opening the doors for us to head down that path. The considerations that have gone into this decision making process are too many to detail here, but by the middle of June we were confident enough to make our final decision to head to Scotland this fall.

There are many difficult aspects of leaving, but the one I was dreading the most was breaking the news to the kids and our wonderful staff that we were leaving. I would cry just thinking about telling them and couldn't imagine how we would actually be able to get the words out. I wanted to hide from that part of this decision. When the day came to tell our staff that we were leaving, I wanted to send Tony down to the meeting and stay locked up in my office. I sat through the meeting and my lip started to tremble as soon as Tony started to transition the conversation over to our announcement. I cried, as did many others, but I felt relieved when it was over.

Then, we had to tell the kids. We decided to go room by room and talk to the kids about our departure. I was determined not to cry in attempt to be strong for the kids, but that plan failed as soon as I saw one of the girls start to cry. I was a mess all afternoon and I had never been so ready to lay down in bed as I was that night - every ounce of my emotional strength was gone. But the next day, I woke up so relieved to have the weight of that announcement lifted from our shoulders. We were ready to jump in and fully enjoy the last 3 1/2 weeks we have at the home.

I know that my feelings of guilt aren't reasonable or deserved; I know that the Lord is leading us and we are confident in the steps we're taking. Yet, I feel so guilty for leaving these kids after pouring our love into them for the past year. The deepest wound these children have is the abandonment by those who claimed to love them, so to walk away from these dear ones inevitably feels painful and laden with guilt.

But from there, I marvel at two things. I cannot fathom the level of desperation and hopelessness that these children's parents must have felt to be able to walk away, leaving their babies alone on buses, park benches, and alleyways. I am shocked by the power of sin that enabled parents to abuse and sell their children off as domestic servants. But most of all, I'm amazed by God's goodness to use his people to care for the people in this world who have been pushed aside. I'm amazed that children who've been so wounded by this world have the capacity to love and be loved again, and I feel privileged to have been given the opportunity to love and be loved by each one of them. God truly does bring beauty out of ashes.

So little time...

Each day as we climb into bed I have been taking a mental inventory of the significant things have happened that day, trying to lock them away in my memory because there seems to be so little time to blog, journal or write these days. I have so much I want to share here on the blog, but our recent pace of life has kept that from happening. Tony's parents and one of his younger brothers arrived in Arequipa last Thursday and the 10 days since then have been full to say the least. We've also been in the midst of many changes and mixed emotions and I can tell you that part of me has been putting off posting anything here because sitting and writing rightfully pauses the whirlwind around me and lets my emotions surface, emotions that are currently being held just below the surface throughout the day (with occasional bursts of tears breaking through!). But I do promise to share a bit more in these coming weeks.

A few highlights for me this week have been: planning the Quinciniera (15th birthday party - a BIG deal in Latin America) for 3 of our girls in the home, celebrating the start of 2 weeks vacation from school with the kids, hosting my cousin Jenn and her boyfriend Fernando for a couple of days here, reflecting on the last year with Tony's parents while they've been here, and truly enjoying the moments we've had to play with the kids. A lot of special moments have come and gone and I will write more and share some pictures later this week.

Yo-Yo fun with Tony!

Just a few fun pictures from last week of some of the boys hanging out up in our office...

Tony teaching some yo-yo tricks to Guillermo and Julio

Tony and Julio with their yo-yo's
(the sticker on Julio's forehead was his prize for a good day at school!)

Jorge loving on Davy

Jorge and Julio (brothers) hanging on Davy

4th of July!!

Wishing all of you a happy 4th of July, wheverever you may be! We're planning to spend the evening with a group of American friends we've become connected with over the year. I just made my first ever potato salad to add to the spread of traditional American food for the party and am also contributing my mothers infamous pink jello salad, with a small Peruvian twist!

We're so thankful for our home country and the many rights and privileges that are upheld for the citizens by the government. Nothing has made us appreciate the US government, its faults and criticisms included, than living in a country where those same rights and privileges are only a distant dream for most of its citizens. We're proud, and thankful, to be Americans. Happy 4th!

The Guest

Lucia came to New Hope in 2007 as a 13-year-old girl. She had been living alone with her father for 3 years, ever since her mother died of cancer. Her father struggled to make enough money to support the two of them so he would often keep Lucia home from school and send her to the streets to beg for money or sell candies on the sidewalks. When the police showed up and arrested her father one afternoon, Lucia was left by herself in the house where she stayed for 3 days until her neighbors came to help her. She was brought to New Hope and has been a part of our family ever since.

Not too long ago we had a group of girls from the children's home over to our house for a pizza party and movie night. After eating dinner, Tony took a group of the girls up to the roof where they could see the stars and the city lights. As the rest of the girls started to go back downstairs, Lucia pulled Tony aside.

"Did you know that I've been in your neighborhood before? When I was living with my dad, he used to drop me off here and send me door to door, asking for money and food. The first time I came to your house I couldn't believe it - I had knocked on the door of this same house before, begging. And now I get to come in and eat dinner here. I'm the guest!"

Ever since Tony told me that story I've been thinking about all of the implications tied up in that for her, and for us as human beings in our relationship with God. Lucia was filled with shame, knocking on doors and asking for handouts, searching for something to fulfill her needs. Now she's been brought into our family and she has free access to the goodness and safety of our home. She's celebrated and appreciated. She can partake of the good things offered to her - she no longer begs for leftovers.

I see myself, all of humankind, reflected in that story. Broken souls, separated from the loving goodness we were intended to have in God's original design. Searching to meet the need for love and a sense of wholeness, we so often go knocking on the doors of this world, asking for love, validation and value. Like beggars , we go searching for something to make us feel whole, and then we learn of God's love, the truth of who we are intended to be. We have the choice to accept that love, to become welcome guests in his kingdom, to partake of the good things he bestows upon us. And our sense of shame and unworthiness is wiped away - we get to walk into his presence, we are his guests, his beloved children.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!
1 John 3:1